Although I am a fashion person and love to style outfits, go nowhere and not see people, I avoided my closet and started living out of my sweat drawer. The moment I found out we were going to be banned from spreading the corona virus, my high-heeled ankle boots and pumps were collecting dust. Seriously, I think it started to happen right away. Except for one day, all of my "outfits", if you can call them that, were inconsistent, each piece was chosen for comfort only. I think my future husband and lockdown partner Joey fully expected this, if he expected anything. He also wore the same pajama bottoms and t-shirts. I don't even remember what he looks like in a suit, his typical daily uniform. I think my cat is the most confused. Part of our regularly scheduled programming in the morning is that she stares at me from the bed while I try on different looks before I pour her a cup of "Nummies" and go out the door.
Dressing had felt like a pleasure that I didn't want to allow myself.
When I decided to dress up for the "Date Night" this weekend, I had to warn the crew. I warned her on Wednesday. We also had to plan something to do it. We opted for a batch of Rummy 500, wine and take-out food to support a local company. (The cat would have her favorite taste of Fancy Feast Pate.) I had to try to remember how much time it took me to get ready. I even went as far as putting on my robe after stepping out of the shower, which makes me a little sexier when I blow dry my hair than if I chose sweat.
Although I was excited to relax and do things that make me beautiful, I felt almost guilty when I gave my Saturday night a sense of normalcy. Was that okay? Could I stroke a red lip, get tipsy without feeling bad, and maybe even have sex? Part of me still doesn't feel right when he's having fun, not when people get sick and others are socially irresponsible because they have no social distance. I am ashamed of myself like many other Americans. Dressing – and everything that goes with it – felt like a pleasure that I didn't want to allow myself.
While I was thinking about it, I didn't put on a fancy silk slide or anything like that. I also firmly believe in getting dressed for the occasion. It just helps me sort of dividing my closet into sections because I reserve certain parts for specific locations. I assumed that a night of cards demanded my favorite Levi & # 39; s in a dark wash and the old vintage belt that I had separated from his floral dress. My favorite graphic shirts are those with their own sense of irony and wit, hence the muscle tea that says "Poolside". I added some gold necklaces, hoop earrings, my engagement ring, and black kitty & kitty pumps from Charles & Keith.
I couldn't remember the last time I looked in the mirror and thought, "This outfit is like me", but it did happen! The fashion girl in me still existed. I was sure to recognize all the usual quirks – to make sure that my longer and shorter necklaces were the perfect length and reattached them until they did. This usually bothers me and triggers a loud, frustrated sigh. "What happened?" Joey screamed from the living room in the middle of his video game at 7:56 p.m. when we were supposed to be in the restaurant to meet our friends at 8pm. I would hurry up. Stupid necklaces. But that Saturday night I was gentle with my jewelry, thinking about what necklaces to put on – my hammered gold coin pendant and the chain with the "J" charm for Joey. It felt really romantic.
When I got out of the bedroom, Joey was definitely taking a double shot. Two things became clear to me: 1. I felt sexy and 2. I should probably put on make-up more often so that he would get used to walking down the aisle on our wedding day and not running away screaming. "I do not know this person." I loved my outfit because it really spoke to my sense of personal style, which apparently is still the same two lockdown weeks – a little sporty, a little eccentric, a little colorful. I loved my outfit so much that I stayed in it until 11:30 p.m. When the post-poke bowl nibbles hit and I needed an elastic band to hug the sundae I was about to make. When I was sitting on the couch, drenched in sweat and looking down at my bowl of mint chocolate pieces, I was glad that it wasn't the only thing I had done that night. I also made an outfit. Yes, it feels like me.
Image source: POPSUGAR Photography / Sarah Wasilak